Memo from a Child
to his Parents
Don't spoil me. I know
quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for - I'm only testing you.
Don't
be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, it makes me feel secure.
Don't
let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early
stages.
Don't
make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly
"big".
Don't
correct me in front of people if you can help it. I will take much more notice
if you talk quietly to me in private.
Don't
make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.
Don't
protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
Don't
be upset when I say, "I hate you". Sometimes it isn't you I hate but
your power to thwart me.
Don't
take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention
I need.
Don't
nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
Don't
forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. That is why I am
not always accurate.
Don't
put me off when I ask questions. If you do you will find that I'll stop asking
and I'll seek my information elsewhere.
Don't
be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me loose faith in you.
Don't
tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to
reassure me if you try to understand.
Don't
ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock
when I discover that you are neither.
Don't
ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologise to me. An honest
apology makes me surprisingly warm towards you.
Don't
forget that I love experimenting. I couldn't get along without it, so please
put up with it.
Don't
forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep
pace with me but please do try.
Don't
forget that I don't thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don't
need to tell yo, do I?
Please
keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you.