Saturday, March 01, 2008

Talking Dog For Sale - My Friend Mr. Jim's Yet Another Short Story

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a bus driver’s house:

Talking Dog For Sale

The guy goes to the door, rings the bell, and the bus driver tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Lab/Shepherd cross sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks the dog.

"Yes, I do," the dog replies.

Taken aback the guy asks, "So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government so I told CSIS about my gift and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. I'd pretend to nap at their feet but I was really very alert. No one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of CSIS's most valuable spies for eight or nine years.

But the jetting around really tired me out. I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security. Again I'd just wander near suspicious characters and listening in on their conversations.

I uncovered some incredible dealings, apprehended dozens of drug dealers, foiled several terrorist attacks, and rescued five or six kidnapped children. I was awarded a batch of medals. Later on I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired and livin' the good life."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the bus driver what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the bus driver says.

"Ten dollars? That dog is amazing", the guy says. "Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a huge liar," the bus driver sneers. "He never did any of that stuff."